Pursued or Pursuing?

While talking with a friend this past week, one of our topics of conversation centered around the idea of roles people adopt when friends with someone- pursued or pursuer?

She believes most people are pursued, meaning they are most comfortable being on the receiving end of gestures and other words or actions that keep the relationship going. They are the ones reached out to, called, texted, etc.

Obviously some people are pursuers, the ones to initiate and maintain friendships. They are the first to call, make plans, keep in touch with others.

Friendships are precious gifts from God.

-Prov. 18:24:  A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

-Prov. 17:17:  A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Personality traits (introvert or extrovert), personal experience, current life experiences, as well as spiritual maturity, all affect how people interact with others.

Having moved just a year ago, friendships are a high priority for me. Recently, interactions with two new women in my life have reinforced the idea of intentionality and its role in friendships.

After talking with my friend, I texted one of the women and told her how I  appreciated  her checking in with me each week to see if I was going to the beach. She laughed and said before she knew Jesus she was bad at staying connected with others; in fact, she still struggles but was encouraged by my perspective of her. 

I have realized that pursuing friendships is something of value to me and to 
God. In John 13:34 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know 
that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Regardless of my bent or any of the items listed above, Jesus commands me to love others. When I am walking in the Spirit rather than the flesh, this occurs more often, resulting in love, whether I am on the giving or receiving end of it.

When I get off course, I am reminded of how God pursued me. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us." Not only did God send his son to die 
for me and make me righteous, he also continues to pursue me, daily, through his word and his Holy Spirit.

What does this mean to me as a mom? I am to pursue relationships with my children. If you are a mom to young children, this may sound strange to you-they are always with me; how could I ever have to pursue them? In fact, I would relish the opportunity to be away long enough to be pursued :)

If you are a parent of teens or older, maybe this makes a lot of sense to you. One thing I would like to do this summer is learn my kids' love language. The Five Love Languages ( also one is available geared to teens)  by Gary Chapman is an excellent book on this topic.

One of my goals this summer is to learn my kids' love languages. I desire to communicate to them that they matter, that I love them. 

I encourage you to be a pursuer-of God first and foremost, and to others. It is a worthy investment.

Pattie