Are You Available?

Always a challenge where to start when much time has passed since my last post.

In the past year much has occurred in the Ceci household; children have married/divorced, deployed, graduated, traveled, become gainfully employed as contributing citizens and spent time in Canada working at a horse ranch.

The Lord has kindly shown and grown me during the past year as well. I am impatient-no getting around it. I believe it became most apparent while I waited in line at Newport Beach to use the restroom. It was a busy, summer Saturday night and the line was LONG and I needed to use the facilities. I grumbled and complained, "I don't understand why it takes ladies so long to do their thing; just get in there, pee and be done. Ugghh!" Couple this with standing in line a few times at the express lane at the grocery store, wondering why it takes sooo long to ring up fifteen or less items. I realized these incidences paralleled my spiritual journey.

Since entering this new season of "retirement," I have asked, prayed and grumbled to the Lord, "What would you have me do, Lord?" I expected, I guess, for Him to answer-on my terms, in my timing. How brash of me! We serve a merciful Lord and he is faithful to love and embrace us, shortcomings and all. I can now say that I know my current assignment and I embrace it wholeheartedly.

My nature tends to be somewhat organized and I like to have a plan, knowing what each day brings (ahead of time). Well, isn't it like God to grow me in this area? I cannot pinpoint an exact moment or experience this was revealed to me, but what I know is the Lord wants me to be available. Period.

I have wondered aloud, "Maybe I should work at Trader Joe's." I love people; it's active and it's nearby. No, I do not believe that is for me at this time. A few opportunities have presented themselves and they are in line with how the Lord has made me. I help out at MOPs every other Friday in the nursery, which I love. I volunteer at CHOC on Mondays in patient hospitality and the Lord has blessed me with a twenty-one year old gal as my partner each week. We discharge patients, bring parents coffee, and buddy with children when needed. Once a month I bring Kopi there as a pet therapy dog and the staff, parents and patients love him.

More than anything I love encouraging moms in their most important calling and I am thrilled to say the Lord has given me the desire of my heart. It looks different then it did in Hawaii. Rather than meeting weekly with a group of moms, sharing, praying and discussing all thing related to motherhood, he has placed moms in my path on a more one-on-one basis.

Being available has also resulted in unplanned opportunities to serve or bless others. I can help a single mom move into her new apartment or invite a mom over with her little ones to swim. One time I had planned coffee with someone but it did not pan out that day. When I went to the gym that morning a gal asked if I could bake cookies for the upcoming CHOC walk. Now I knew why I did not have plans for that day. I had cookies to bake.

Having a daily quiet time was not a challenge for me as a busy mom of five children. Yet, I have struggled with keeping this discipline, in spite of having more free time than I have had in several years. A favorite pastor of mine says, "How much of God do we have in our lives? Exactly as much as we desire!" I was convicted gently that this is necessary not optional!" Seven days without God makes one" weak," is another Waxerism.

I aim to remain consistent without becoming legalistic in regards to this life-giving discipline. I find I talk with the Lord throughout the day when people, burdens and situations come to mind. Playing worship music while at home or driving helps my mind focus on that which is most important rather than raising my blood pressure listening to talk radio.

I will end with one more saying from Pastor Waxer- "God cares more about your availability than your ability." My challenge-are you willing and able to surrender your agenda for the Lord's?